Life

my life has been steady, in short - it’s been boring. i just go with the flow. although, i have a decent job and it pays good enough, i often still wonder what happens to the dreams i have built when i was still in school and i promised to fulfill right after my graduation….

i know that i have been doing something which i don’t love and i have been in constant pursuit of real happiness… i know i’ve been wanting to quit, but the question that i keep asking is where do i go from here.

i’ve been inspired bysuccess stories i read, those rags to riches stories of Dave Longaborger, of John Gokongwei and the likes, and have wanted to try my luck on the path they’ve taken. but i’m always afraid of starting my own story, or perhaps the better word for it is - undetermined.

as i look back at my life, i’ve realized how time changed me as a person, how situations demotivated me and how my thoughts on life has changed. factors are the environment, the people who surround me and many other things. my goal in life everyday has become to avoid tardiness, to pass my scorecard every month, get bonus, and so on and so forth. gone was the desire to start my own restaurant, to have my own expensive car and my vacation house in Fuego… i have now become dependent to the pay which the multicorporation i work for provides me.  

i evaluated myself and i reasoned out that i’m just finishing at least a 2-year job experience for a future scholarship abroad, but truth is, i’m not sure if i still will pursue it.. at this time, i’m just exhausted with my way of life and i’m sick-tired of proving myself.

maybe i’m just in this stage where i’m still hybernating and evaluating my choices in life; the choices i took and its long term-effect and hopefully these would help me to make better choices for my life in the future.

i’m giving myself another 2 years (outmost) to reach the dreams i’ve built a long time ago. if it doesnt work out well in those 2 years, there is always Boston or LA or Chicago… i’ll work my ass off to be qualified for a work visa there and start my life anew… even if i have to plead on my knees to my aunt, i don’t really care… i’ve been working so hard and have been disappointed a lot of times that i deserve true happiness.

so God please bless me!

posted on my multiply blog on Jun 29, ‘09

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